Disturbances

Dreams and nightmares, both in sleep and in waking, provide me with images.  These are rarely images of man-made things.  They are arresting images of the natural world; beautiful, mysterious and often frightening.

I hate and love the ocean.   It threatens to carry me under and away.  But I stay right at the edge………  If I didn’t know better, I would stand in a raging electrical storm, on an empty hill top, arms overhead like lightening rods………  I long for the black vault of the sky to drop down around my feet.

The force and magnitude of charged emotions can equal the force and magnitude of calamitous events in the natural world. In these paintings, they become the same thing.

The utter complexity of the natural world is mirrored by the complexity of the human body.  Sometimes I am incomprehensible to myself. Pictures of neatly anatomized bodies reassure me that I am in fact understandable and orderly.  Anatomical illustrations are beautiful and horrible, bloodless and ornate, full of the finest detail.  I cannot look long enough.

I have seen skinless and muscle-less figures impossibly walking or gesticulating………  I have even seen smiling people playing or working, going about their usual business, all the while magically transparent so that a singular biological system is somehow visible under their skin.

These images speak to me of order and chaos, strength and weakness, fear, power, passion, vulnerability, and above all, our rootedness in the order of the natural world.  Sometimes I feel absolutely miraculous and throbbing and connected, but mostly I am a rational observer forever separated by the boundaries of my skin.

To know the world through the joys of sensory experience, to trust the knowledge given by vivid intuitions, to accept the intelligence in the reality of the imagination, and honor and give life to the world of feelings, through painting, is my goal.

 

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